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Tad Dagan

Ground Rules

Journal Info

geek poetry
Name
Tad Dagan
Website
My husband's blog

Ground Rules

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geek poetry
First of all, I want to apologise for it having been so long since I updated. Though I've been busy like crazy, that isn't why. It turns out that my sense of this as a "safe space" for me to talk freely about my feelings and experiences is actually pretty fragile, and it was disrupted. Admitting that was a blow to my pride, however, and so I've been procrastinating.

The truth is, the things I talk about in this journal are sensitive. They are intimate, often taboo things that people have very strong feelings about. What I write is likely, at times, to bother or offend people. You have a couple of choices on how to handle this:

1. You have the right to decide not to read any post I make.
2. You have the right to read the post, decide I'm an arsehole, and unfriend me. I'll be sad to see you go and probably a bit upset if you do it without an explanation, but I won't hold it against you.
3. You have the right, as my friend, to tell me something I've said is fucked up and hurtful, and why, and then have a dialogue with me about why I said it, why it was wrong and how (or if) I can fix it. I welcome this - hell, more than that I'm eager for it. The only way any of us figure out when we're in the wrong is through the intervention of others, and it's generally a nicer experience when it's done by a friend.

However, you do NOT have the right to come onto my personal journal, tell me I'm not allowed to say certain things in my own space about my own experience because I'm "silencing" others (please look up the definition of "silencing" again, kthx), tell me that because of one comment I made I deserve to be prevented from making informed choices about my own body in the future, and then disappear and refuse to talk to me.

Okay, so I suppose you have the 'right' - I don't screen comments, after all - but I won't like or respect you much afterward.

I'm just human. I don't know everything. I have some pretty messed up, unfair and ugly feelings sometimes. News flash: everyone does. I have some opinions that others disagree with, sometimes violently. I do make an ongoing effort to recognise and analyse my own biases and irrationalities and then, if appropriate, change the opinions I've formed based on them - but just because you disagree with me doesn't mean I'm wrong. And even when none of the above are true, sometimes I phrase things wrong and they read completely differently than what I actually intended.

This blog is not a polished work, designed to accurately educate the greater public. It's not even a memoir, rough edges smoothed out and everything neatly lined up to show theme and character growth. It is - and always has been - a raw, painfully honest, immediate record of what's going on in my head and my heart as I turn my life upside down and figure out who I am and what I want. I'm pleased and honoured that others have decided to come along with me and watch as I take this journey, but I'm not writing this blog for you.

I'm writing it for me.
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