Hi! I'm Tad. I'm a 34-year-old man who loves writing, hiking, Celtic folk music, linguistics, animals, psychology, offroading, mythology, baseball and playing guitar. I also happen to currently inhabit a female body.
Yes, this makes me transsexual (FtM, to be precise). In a lot of ways this journal is about coming to grips with the fact that I'm a man despite all physical evidence to the contrary. I've known I was "different" my whole life, and had the possibility of being trans a constant, unwilling thought in the back of my mind since I was about 19, but it's only last year that I was able to admit the truth to myself. I'm mid-transition, having started hormone therapy on July 2nd, 2010, and living full-time as male.
I'm not friends-locking this journal, but I'm being very careful about what information to disclose as I am not ready yet in any way for this to collide with my day-to-day life. If I do post any possibly identifying information, such as photographs, I'll put them behind a friends-lock. On this journal I prefer to be called Tad or Thaddeus (even if you know my "real" name), to be addressed as a man and to have male pronouns used to refer to me. This is a matter of emotional health and personal safety and is very important.
I'm interested in meeting and talking to other people who are going through or have gone through similar things, so please - if you are also struggling through this or are just sympathetic, comment or email me.
This is a chronicle of the journey I'm taking to become my real self. It's an outlet for me, a way to connect with people who are going through the same thing, a safe place to talk to my loved ones about things too difficult to say aloud and, hopefully, an outstretched hand for those who are just starting to face the struggle of admitting that they are trans and who feel completely alone.
Requisite list of quotes:
"Sure, part of any relationship is compromise, but we should not and cannot compromise our essential character or nature, nor what we know we need in a relationship to participate in one healthily and happily."
“Maybe the past is an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.”
"For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow, so my fantasy becomes reality, and I must be what I must be and face tomorrow." -Paul Simon
"'Cause it's gonna be the future soon And I won't always be this way When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away It's gonna be the future soon I've never seen it quite so clear And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here" -Jonathan Coulton